Our Families Need A Bail Out/Rescue Plan Too
| Khatib : | Dr. Omar Ezzeldine |
| Khutbah No: | 293 |
| Khutbah Date: | 10/03/08 |
Icoi Khutba Our Families Need A Bail Out/Rescue Plan Too
October 3, 2008
18:29 And say: "The truth [has now come] from your Sustainer: let, then, him who
wills, believe in it, and let him who wills, reject it."
وَقُلِ الْحَقُّ مِن رَّبِّكُمْ فَمَن شَاء فَلْيُؤْمِن وَمَن شَاء فَلْيَكْفُرْ
Our own fates are tied to our own necks –
[17:13]
17:13 Every man's fate We have fastened on his own neck: On the Day of Judgment We shall bring out for him a scroll, which he will see spread open.
Note 17 (Quran Ref: 17:13 )
The word ta’ir literally signifies a "bird" or, more properly, a "flying creature". Since the pre-Islamic Arabs often endeavoured to establish a good or bad omen and, in general, to foretell the future from the manner and direction in which birds would fly, the term ta’ir came to be tropically used in the sense of "fortune", both good and evil, or "destiny". (See in this connection surah 3, note 37, and surah 7, note 95.) It should, however, be borne in mind that the Qur'anic concept of "destiny" relates not so much to the external circumstances of and events in man's life as, rather, to the direction which this life takes in result of one's moral choices: in other words, it relates to man's spiritual fate-and this, in its turn, depends-as the Qur'an so often points out-on a person's inclinations, attitudes and conscious actions (including self-restraint from morally bad actions or, alternatively, a deliberate omission of good actions). Hence, man's spiritual fate depends on him-self and is inseparably linked with the whole tenor of his personality; and since it is God who has made man responsible for his behaviour on earth, He speaks of Himself as having "tied every human being's destiny to his neck".(Quran Ref: 17:13 )
36:19 [The apostles] replied: “Your destiny, good or evil, is [bound up] with yourselves! [13] [Does it seem evil to you] if you are told to take [the truth] to heart? Nay, but you
are people who have wasted their own selves!” [14]
Topics discussed in this Verse:
[Companions
of the City ( parable of ) ] [Messengers:rejected
by their people]
قَالُوا طَائِرُكُمْ مَعَكُمْ أَئِن ذُكِّرْتُم بَلْ أَنتُمْ قَوْمٌ مُّسْرِفُونَ
The financial crisis is a consequence of our own choices
People made bad investment choices. Some are blaming the home buyer for agreeing to a loan that they could not afford to maintain. Others blame the banks for tricking the people into taking these loans.
Investment in our children will suffer a similar consequence
Warning signs include: keeping secrets, not sharing, resentment
We must seek to change our situation and not just complain about it or assign
blame.
This applies to life as well as family. Now is the time, with the spirit of Eid and Ramadan still within us, to invest wisely in our families, our children, our parents, our grandparents
You may die tomorrow, your company will replace you, but your family can never replace you.
Here are a few reminders to myself and others as we embark on a new year
Role Modeling
- Role modeling is the best parenting
- Live your Values
- Life-long Learning
- Self-Care
- Relationships
Time Together
- Research shows parents spend 30 minutes a week of quality time with each child
- Quality time is when you spend time doing that which is of interest to your child
- Humor, Hugging, Smiling are important activities to have with your child
- Create family rituals
“The first recipients of your sadaqah (charity) should be your family.” (Hadith)
“Even a smile is charity.” (Hadith)
Acknowledge & Appreciate
- Acknowledge by taking notice and
commenting on admirable actions
- “You were generous when you shared your favorite toy with your brother”
- Appreciate by expressing
gratitude
- “Thank you for sharing your toys with your sister”
“He who is not grateful to people is not grateful to Allah.” (Hadith)
Listening & Communication
- Active
Listening
- Look at your child
- Reflect what they are saying
- Acknowledge feelings
- Ask questions to clarify
- Communication
- Talk to your children on a daily basis
- Imam Jafar Al-Sadiq said, “Endeavor to converse with your children, in case others who transgress and disobey get to them before you.”
- Talk to your children on a daily basis
Optimistic Parenting
- When
optimistic, children feel encouraged and supported even when making mistakes
- Focus on
what is working rather than on the negative
- Find and acknowledge the good in yourself, others and the world
- Focus on
what is working rather than on the negative
- Focus on
what is needed and possible
- Seek to gain understanding and find solutions
Positive Discipline
- Positive
Discipline
- Redirect misbehavior with kindness
- Natural consequences rather than punishment
- – Clear & Consist
- Qualities
of self-disciplined child:
- orderly, responsible, organized, punctual, mood literate, cooperative, respectful
Unconditional Love
- Tell your children you love them everyday in your words and actions
- 12
Qualities of a well-loved child:
- Secure – safe, protected, nurtured and cared for
- Curious- fascinated by new experiences, learning and the unknown
- Joyful – takes joy in life’s many small and great blessings
- Playful – interactive, fun-loving and capable of playing well alone and with others
- Confident – has a healthy self esteem and belief in her talents and abilities
- Risk-taker – overcomes fear and tries new things; takes calculated risks
- Resilient – bounces back from mistakes, setbacks and corrections
- Authentic – sincere, unpretentious and natural
- Trustworthy – honest, credible and reliable in word and deed
- Congenial – good natured, friendly and capable of relating well with others
- Conscientious – mature, aware, thorough and diligent
- Loving – caring, extending, forgiving and loving of himself and others
Investment begins with who you marry
Get involved in the life of a child