Love & Marriage
| Khatib : |
Sadullah Khan |
| Khutbah No: |
144 |
| Khutbah Date: |
04/08/05 |
هُوَ الَّذِي خَلَقَكُم مِّن نَّفْسٍ وَاحِدَةٍ وَجَعَلَ مِنْهَا زَوْجَهَا لِيَسْكُنَ إِلَيْهَاIt is He who has created you and your spouse out of one entity, so that one might incline (with love) towards the other. [Q 7:189]The role of family in the overall social structure of Islam is great and if we fail to grasp its importance, the whole edifice of society will collapse. In Islam there is no family without union or marriage and there is no marriage without love and respect. The family in Islam is a unit in which two independent persons unite and share life together. The husband's dignity is an integral part of his wife's dignity. Accordingly, neither of them is better than the other. To unite and share, there must be mutual love and compassion - a genuine feeling which, unless translated into action and behavior, would be mere illusion.
The Institution of marriageWhen Allah mentions marriage or the relationship between husband and wife in the Qur'an, He describes it as a relationship of love, compassion, mercy, and harmony between two human beings who have entered into a mutual contract…
وَمِنْ آيَاتِهِ أَنْ خَلَقَ لَكُم مِّنْ أَنفُسِكُمْ أَزْوَاجًا لِّتَسْكُنُوا إِلَيْهَاوَجَعَلَ بَيْنَكُم مَّوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً إِنَّ فِي ذَلِكَ لَآيَاتٍ لِّقَوْمٍ يَتَفَكَّرُونَAmong Allah’s wonders is that; He created for you mates out of your own human species, so that you may incline toward them, and He engenders love and tenderness between you; in this, behold, there are indeed messages for people who think [Q 30:21]. هُوَ الَّذِي خَلَقَكُم مِّن نَّفْسٍ وَاحِدَةٍ وَجَعَلَ مِنْهَا زَوْجَهَا لِيَسْكُنَ إِلَيْهَاIt is He who has created you and your spouse out of one entity, so that one might incline (with love) towards the other.
[Q 7:189]Expression of loveThe Qur'an speaks of the intimate and close relationship of the two spouses in these words: هُنَّ لِبَاسٌ لَّكُمْ وَأَنتُمْ لِبَاسٌ لَّهُنَّ
They are like garments unto you as you are like garments unto them [Q 2:187]. By using the simile of ‘garments’, 4 significant dimensions of the relationship are highlighted….
- First, dress is a covering and that is considered to be one of the most fundamental needs of human beings in all stages of life. Keeping you warm in the cold and keeping the heat out when it is hot.
- Second, dress covers the nakedness of human beings and hides those parts which are kept hidden. Every person has his weakness and frailty and does not want them to be disclosed to others.
- Third, dress is the closest thing that constantly touches our bare skin, and this indicates intimacy.
- Fourth, clothes are an adornment and enhances one’s beauty.
The two sexes working together, not only cover each other’s weakness and frailty, but also enhance each other’s capabilities and help each other make up their deficiencies. Spouses are told to be generous and liberal in their treatment of each other under all circumstances, especially when the relations between the two are not very amicable.
And do not forget liberality between yourselves [Q 2:237]. Even in divorce, we are enjoined to be just and fair (
ma’ruf);
take them back honorably on equitable terms or set them free with kindness and goodness [Q 2:229].
Maintain these PrinciplesRespect, Understanding, Appreciation, Acceptance; be Loving, be Forgiving and be Patient. Let marriage be a continuous gateway to a caring relationship and it is through the institution of marriage that true expression is given to what the Qur'an refers to as مَّوَدَّةً وَرَحْمَةً “
love and mercy” [Q 30:21] between men and women; مِّن ذَكَرٍ أَوْ أُنثَى بَعْضُكُم مِّن بَعْضٍ
that be you male or female, you are members of one another [Q 3:195], and بَعْضُهُمْ أَوْلِيَاء بَعْضٍ
that men and women are protectors, one of another.
[Q 9:71]
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