Learning From Our Mistakes
| Khatib : | Sadullah Khan |
| Khutbah No: | 259 |
| Khutbah Date: | 01/04/08 |
كل ابنى آدم خطاء و خير الخطائين التوابون
All human beings err, and the best of those who err are those who repent
[Prophet Muhammad (pbuh)]
New Year, Same Me?
This week we have just entered the New Year of the Gregorian Calendar and are in the coming days to enter the New Year of the Muslim Calendar with the month of Muharram. In the introspective command of the Qur’an والتنظر نفس ما قدمت لغد carefully consider what we are sending forth / doing for the future; what are we endeavoring to accomplish at a personal, social, professional level? Am I going to remain where I was or am I going to improve? We recently reflected on resolutions that we could look at to meaningfully empower our lives and among them was … to improve ourselves we need to learn from our mistakes. To be able to utilize our experiences in a positive manner requires a willingness to learn from successes and mistakes.
Aiming for Excellence
Knowing the potential of the human being [Qur’an 95:5], the Creator commands us to strive for excellence [Qur’an 16:90]. Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) reminded us that, كتب الاحسان على كل شيء ان الله Allah has prescribed excellence in everything you do. The notion of ihsaan implies both doing what is good and right coupled with excellence in performance. This makes us realize that whatever is good is worth doing and whatever is worth doing, is worth doing well. This makes us realize that the quality of a person's life is in direct proportion to his/her commitment to excellence.
Setting High Standards is a Great Thing.
Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said; ان الله يحب اذا عَِمل احدَكم عملا ان يُتقِنه Surely, Allah loves that whatever activity you do, do it with excellence.
Islam encourages healthy, self-actualizing individuals striving for excellence; but discourages neurotic, obsessive pre-occupation with perfection.
The Vicious Cycle of Perfectionism
Researchers have identified three components of perfectionism:
- self-oriented (unrealistic standards for self),
- other-oriented (unrealistic standards directed towards others),
- socially prescribed (belief that others have perfectionistic expectations for one’s self).
Perfectionistic attitudes set in motion a vicious cycle… both for themselves and others.
- First, perfectionists set unreachable goals.
- Second, they fail to meet these goals because the goals were impossible to begin with. Failure to reach them was thus inevitable.
- Third, the constant pressure to achieve perfection and the inevitable chronic failure reduce productivity and effectiveness. Wise are the words that it is better to do something imperfectly than to do nothing flawlessly.
- Fourth, this cycle leads perfectionists to be self-critical and self-blaming which results in lower self-esteem. It may also lead to anxiety and depression.
So, no matter what you attempt it is never ‘good enough’ to meet your own expectation or the presumed expectation of others. Perfectionism takes a great toll and perfectionists are likely to experience decreased productivity, impaired health, troubled interpersonal relationships, and low self-esteem.
To Err is indeed Human
There is a prophetic tradition that captures a reality in all human endeavors, and that reality is the fact that … كل ابنى آدم خطاء all human beings err. Treat the “failed” experience as an opportunity to learn. What did you learn from the experience that will help you in the future? How can you use the experience to improve yourself or your situation? One who has never made a mistake has never made anything. Wise ones have said; “When you make a mistake, don’t look back at it too long. Take the reason of the mistake into your mind and then look forward. Mistakes are lessons of wisdom. The past cannot be changed, but the future is yet in your power.” So, as we march forward, we reflect by asking ourselves these questions: What was the mistake? Why did it happen? How could it have been prevented? How can I do better next time?
Build on the Good and Cease the Bad
To be able to utilize our experiences in a positive manner requires a willingness to learn from successes and mistakes.If we do something that works then work on improving on it, if something does not work then do not repeat that. The Prophet (pbuh) advised us to evaluate our course of action; if something is good then continue and improve on that; if it is not good then stop and do not proceed in that direction.. Change the methodology / correct the course of action. It has been said that there are two ways of meeting your challenges; you alter the difficulties or you alter yourself to meet them. It is only when we strive for excellence (not perfection) that we will to do simple things expertly and acquire the skill to do difficult things easily. Be ready for change, for a bend in the road does not mean the end of the road… unless you fail to make the turn. Ley’s take that turn and the turn is tubu ila-Allah “turning towards Allah; let all our actions be Allah-oriented.