88: Good Relationships (Part 4) ~ Children
[Prophet Muhammad (pbuh)]
Parents/Guardians have the basic responsibility of providing the child a loving family circle, a nurturing and protective home, a good name, good education, health care and preparation for independent life (marriage, work, responsibility …).
Parents/Guardians also have the moral, religious and legal obligation to ensure that the child is not abused; whether physically, psychologically or emotionally.
Among the common things we need to avoid are various forms abuse (see addendum below) and favoritism:
- Principle of Equality
Nu'man ibn Basheer reports that his father took him to the Prophet and said, 'Messenger of Allah, I have given this son of mine a gift and I wish you to witness that.' The Prophet asked him: 'Have you given everyone of your children a similar gift?' He said: 'No.' The Prophet said: 'Then seek for yourself some other witness because I do not witness injustice.' - Gender Bias - preferring male over female
"Whoever has a female child and does not bury her alive, nor dishonors her, nor prefers his son over her; Allah will enter such a person to Paradise."
In fact, the Prophet (pbuh) said; “Whoever has two sisters or two daughters and takes good care of their needs, will be with me in Paradise like this” and he put his middle and forefingers together.
Reflect on the Parent-Child relationship between ...
We can take a great lesson from the fact that Allah documents, as part of divine revelation, the naseehah/advice of Luqman ‘the Wise’ to his sons [Q31:12-19] and makes that parental advice the central theme of the 31st chapter, titled Luqman. In the relationship between the Prophets (peace be upon them), respect, care and love was visible and real ...
- Prophet ‘Isa/Jesus with Maryam/Mary [Qur'an 19]
- Prophets Ya’qub/Jacob with Yusuf/Joseph [Qur'an 12]
- Prophets Ibrahim/Abraham and Ismai’l/Ishmael [Qur'an 37:100-102]
- Prophet Muhammad with his daughter Fatima and her children and his other grand-children ...
- The Prophet said of his daughter, Fatima (his only child to survive him)
“her flesh is my flesh, her blood is my blood” - The Prophet praying with Umama, daughter of the prophet’s daughter Zaynab. As he prayed he held her, and when prostrating put her next to him, and when standing up, he would pick her up again.
- The Prophet’s relationship with the young boy, Anas, who refused to go back to his parents; preferring to stay with the Prophet saying; the Prophet never insulted nor humiliated him, neither chastised him and never asked him to do something beyond his capacity; and whenever a difficult task was to be accomplished the Prophet would personally help him.
- Prophet Muhammad said of his grandchildren, Hasan and Husayn
“O Allah! I love them. O Allah, do love them and love those who love them” - Such was the affection of the Prophet for his near ones that Allah [Qur'an 42:23] instructs Prophet Muhammad to say
"Say: I ask no reward of you, except love for the relatives/dear ones"
- The Prophet said of his daughter, Fatima (his only child to survive him)
Provide Good Training & Homely Atmosphere
Parents are the avenues through which children enter this world. In the words of poet, Khalil Gibran: “They come through you, but belong not to you.” Parents are the first line of comfort and the last line of defense. Love, cherish, empower and nurture your children as best you can. We have the responsibility of nurturing and caring for them, to prepare them for life, to inculcate in them good character as the best thing a parent can provide for the benefit of a child is good moral training as well as to be just and fair to them. Many children are deprived of true love, coming from homes where the important adults lack either emotional depth or emotional expressiveness.
That person who when he comes home, his wife becomes fearful,
his children run away from him and his servant hurries out of his way;
But when he leaves the house, the wife is cheerful and his family is at ease.
Addendum
Childrens’ Rights & Distinction between Discipline and Abuse
What are the Human Rights of Children and Youth?
Human Rights are universal, and civil, political, economic, social and cultural rights belong to all human beings, including children and young people. Children and youth also enjoy certain human rights specifically linked to their status as minors and to their need for special care and protection.
The human rights of children and youth are explicitly set out in the Convention on the Rights of the Child, the most widely ratified human rights treaty in history. They are also contained in other human rights documents including the Universal Declaration of Human Rights and other widely recognized international human rights treaties and declarations.
The human rights of children and youth include the following indivisible, interdependent and interrelated human rights:
- The human right to a standard of living adequate for a child's intellectual, physical, moral, and spiritual development, including adequate food, shelter and clothing.
- The human right to freedom from discrimination based on age, gender, race, color, language, religion, nationality, ethnicity, or any other status, or on the status of the child's parents.
- The human right to the highest possible standard of health and to access to health care.
- The human right to a healthy and safe environment.
- The human right to education -- to free and compulsory elementary education, to readily available forms of secondary and higher education, and to freedom from all types of discrimination at all levels of education.
- The human right to protection from neglect and all types of physical or mental abuse.
- The human right to protection from economic and sexual exploitation.
- The human right of the child to express an opinion about plans or decisions affecting his or her life.
- The human right of the child to live in a family environment. States should provide families with assistance and support if necessary for meeting the fundamental needs of the child.