33: Happiness does not come from material things
[Prophet Muhammad (pbuh)]
What brings Happiness?
A study of college students in a recent issue of the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, published by the American Psychological Association concludes that money is at the bottom of a list of would-be psychological needs that bring happiness and fulfillment.
In order to be happy, the study subjects most needed ...
- to believe they were autonomous and competent,
- to have self-esteem
- to feel a sense of closeness with others
At the bottom of the study's list of factors that bring happiness and well-being were ...
- popularity/influence
- money/luxury.
"People who value money, beauty and popularity more so than they value intimacy, growth and community
contribution really look a lot less mentally healthy and are far more unhappy,"
[Professor Kennon Sheldon, a psychologist at the University of Missouri-Columbia and co-author of the study.]
This was definitely confirmed by scientists at the University of Southern California. "People don't get happier by getting richer," said the USC study. Nor does "a person's well-being grow with increased wealth. Many people are under the illusion that the more money we make, the happier we'll be. We put all our resources into making money at the expense of our family and health. We don't realize that our material wants increase with the amount of money we make."
According to the USC study, "happiness typically came from spending quality time with loved ones and from good health." This was confirmed by a study done at the University of Warwick, which found that a "strong marriage and good health were more likely than money to make people feel content."
Wealth fills not all voids
People get into trouble is when they try to get money to do things it can't do, such as character-building and self-esteem-building. And if you try to get it to do things it can't do, you're going to be disappointed and unhappy. Researchers explored the prime factors that drive the desire for money among college students and business professionals. The researchers conducted three related studies involving more than 500 university business students and 145 entrepreneurs. All were surveyed about their aspirations for wealth and their general sense of well-being.
From this, the researchers were able to isolate 10 major reasons why people seek to make money ...
- overcome self-doubt
- freedom
- the ability to support a family
- leisure time
- increase purchasing power
- pride
- behave more impulsively
- show off
- charitable donations
- security
The researchers described these motivations as being a function of one of three things:
- a negative desire to socially compete and acquire power over others
- a positive desire to meet life needs and achieve a measure of success
- a desire to have the freedom to do as one pleases .
They conclude that while "money itself is not harmful", problems arise when wealth is used to fill voids that it is unable to fill.
Wealth, in itself, is no evil
In the Qur'an, wealth in itself is not considered demonic or evil. In fact it is often referred to as khayr (goodness), fadlillah (bounty and blessing of Allah) [Qur'an 2:180; 62: 10] and at times as fitnah (trial) [Q8:28].
Happiness is ...
An agreeable feeling or condition of the soul arising from good fortune or favorable happening of any kind; the possession of those circumstances or that state of being which brings enjoyment; contentment; joyful satisfaction; felicity; blessedness. Happiness emanates primarily from living a meaningful and successful life.
Success/falaah for a Believer is ...
a happy life linked to a successful life; and success is ...
- continuous journeying towards achieving meaningful goals
- becoming the best of all that you can be
- being inspired by the greatest inspiration (faith/Ieman), motivated by the highest purpose (justice/'Adl), focusing on achieving the ultimate goal (the best in this world and the best in the Hereafter/Fid duniyaa hasanatin wa fil aakhirati hasanah)
- (Happiness Falaah o sa'aadah) commitment to manifesting the greatest benefit (goodness and excellence/ihsaan) in every dimension of life.
Money Can't Buy Happiness
In a world obsessed with materialism we often overlook the ideals and values that go beyond the banality of
the dollar.
It is truly unfortunate that a person's worth in society is so often measured by wealth rather than his wealth
measured by his worth to society. Such misplacement of human worth leads many to wrongfully assume that you are
what you have. In actual fact, we are what we are, reflected in what we sincerely do. If we were to believe that
we are what we have, what would we be if we do not have it anymore?
Money in Perspective
Despite negative aphorisms such as "money is the root of all evil"; money is still extremely popular. We should not disdain wealth but need to put its value in proper perspective.
- Money gets us lots of THINGS but is tremendously overrated. It would be wise to heed the wisdom of those who realize that... money may buy books but not knowledge, bed but not sleep, food but not appetite, house but not home, insurance but not safety, clock but not time, medicine but not health, bible but not salvation, luxury but not peace of mind, fame but not dignity, position but not respect, entertainment but not happiness.
- The things money buys are the husk not the kernel, the trimming not the essence. Wealth can provide a
source of ease and pleasure but happiness emerges from a far deeper sense of contentment.
"You traverse the world in search of happiness, which is within the reach of every man. A contented mind confers it on all." [Roman poet, Horace]
Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said,
"Wealth is not measured by how much you possess, but by the contentment of your self/soul."
Possessions and Happiness
Wealth is not a guarantee for happiness. If it were, all wealthy people would be happy.
- This does not imply that rich people who are unhappy are so because of their wealth; but does prove that the one is not necessarily dependent on the other.
- On the other hand, the road to happiness is hard to navigate when one is burdened with the weight of obligations owed or undischarged, the most difficult of which is debt. How true ring the words of Prophet Muhammad (pbuh), "debt enslaves you".
Money and Happiness, Body and Soul
Many people pursue accumulation of wealth with such passion under the erroneous assumption - the more I make
the happier I'll be.
"Happiness depends, as nature shows, Less on exterior things than most suppose."
[18th century poet,
William Cowper.]
"If thou wilt make a man happy, add not unto his riches but take away from his desires."
[Greek
philosopher, Epicurus]
Remember ...
- It is not how much you make that brings happiness but how much you do with what you make.
"Our happiness in this world depends on the affections we are able to inspire"
[Sufi saying].
"Happiness is not so much in having or sharing. We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give."
[Norman MacEwan]
"The time to be happy is now. The place to be happy is here. The way to be happy is to make others so."
[orator, Robert G. Ingersoll]
"Our happiness is greatest when we contribute most to the happiness of others."
[Harriet Shepard]
Allowing the pursuit of wealth to be considered synonymous with the pursuit of happiness is part of the tragedy of many lives. - There is no harm in owning the world, provided that the world does not own you. In the words of the philosopher Rousseau, "the money you have can give you a degree of freedom but the money you pursue enslaves you".
- The body may hanker for wealth while the soul yearns for meaning. If we give in totally to the body we submit
ourselves to the demands of the fleeting and the temporary; fooled by the mirage while ignoring the oasis.
"Many persons have a wrong idea of what constitutes true happiness. It is not attained through self-gratification but through fidelity to a worthy purpose."
[blind author, Helen Keller] - Our attitude and personality contribute greatly to our happiness or lack of it.
"I've learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our dispositions and not on our circumstances."
[Martha Washington]
"A happy person is not a person in a certain set of circumstances, but rather a person with a certain set of attitudes."
[motivational speaker, Hugh Downs]
"Happiness does not depend on what happens outside of you but on what happens inside of you; it is measured by the spirit with which you meet the problems of life."
[author, Harold B Lee]
"People who never achieve happiness are the ones who complain whenever they're awake, and whenever they're asleep, they are thinking about what to complain about tomorrow."
[Professor Adam Zimbler]
"There is no value in life except what you choose to place upon it and no happiness in any place except what you bring to it yourself."
[19th century author, Henry David Thoreau] - Happiness emanates from the spiritual dimension of the self.
"To live happily is an inward power of the soul."
[Roman leader and philosopher, Marcus Aurelius]
"Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude."
[motivational speaker, Denis Waitley]
Is it worth it?
Wealth certainly has its role, but its acquisition and retention should not be at the expense of that which goes beyond material value.
- If we are willing to pay for the acquisition of wealth at the expense of honor and integrity, then it costs far too much. That certainly is not worth it.
- Ultimately, real happiness is not found in our material possessions but in the valuables of life; fond memories, cherished moments, selfless acts, dedication and service, love and affection, lasting and meaningful relationships... all the things money can't buy