30: Tolerating Differences

 

"There are two characteristics in you that Allah loves, moderation and tolerance."
[Prophet Muhammad (pbuh)]

As human beings who are thinking beings, beings with an intellectual dimension, we realize that our social interaction is based on exchange of ideas, views and opinions that vary and often reflect distinct cultural, sociological, psychological and intellectual influences. This diversity surely leads to differences in perspective, differences in understanding and naturally agreements and disagreement. This is part of civilized society.
"Civilization should be measured by the degree of diversity attained and the degree of unity retained." [Poet, W.H. Auden]

Differing Views

"We all live under the same sky, but we don't all have the same horizon." [Konrad Adenauer]. People differ, and how we engage those differences affects our social life. "How far you go in life depends on you being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and the strong, because someday in life you will have been all of these." [George Washington Carver] Differences of opinion are inevitable wherever people possess intellect and honesty. Diversity of perspectives fosters variety and thus a myriad of potentialities. "Cultivate your own capabilities, your own style. Appreciate the members of your family for who they are, even though their outlook or style may be miles different from yours. Rabbits don't fly. Eagles don't swim. Ducks look funny trying to climb. Squirrels don't have feathers. Stop comparing. There's plenty of room in the forest." [Author, Dr. Chuck Swindoll]

Civilized individuals respect other people and therefore have the tendency to respect the opinions of others. Those who are ethically impoverished, emotionally overcharged and intellectually barren, have an inclination to be so dogmatic as to use differences of opinion as a barrier between themselves and others with whom they differ, often leading to unnecessary disputes that cause disrespect for others and of others. It is only gross ignorance and egoism that leads any person to believe that there is no room for disputing his or her opinion.

Tolerance a Pre-requisite for Peaceful Co-existence

We live in a cosmopolitan world where there are a multitude of views, perspectives and traditions. Tolerance, in such a world, is not only a personal virtue but also an absolute pre-requisite. Tolerance is not a form of moral passivity, neither a mark of false civility, nor acquiescence; but rather, a recognition of differences and the capacity to respect the right that people have to differ. Tolerance, therefore, does not imply moral endorsement, but rather an agreement to treat others with the same respect that you expect them to accord you for your differing views. If one does not have the courtesy to listen to a differing perspective then he/she is not entitled to demand the right to be heard.

Moderation

People who consider themselves religious often seem to have this destructive yet predictable habit of engaging in the relentless pursuit of being argumentative on virtually every aspect of any discussion on religion. Balance and moderation are not only supposed to be inherent characteristics of true Believers, they are fundamental landmarks of Islam. Allah says: "Thus have We made you an Ummah justly balanced, that you may be a testimony to the world community". [Quran 2:143]

Ethics of Disagreement

People of faith are supposed to be people of akhlaq, people of ethics. It behooves people of faith to more than believe in the importance of ethics, it requires sensitivity to the ethical implications of our decisions, our actions and reactions. It is significant to exercise the use of the most basic universal ethical theory: "treat others as you would like to be treated".

The lack of moderation often manifests itself through ...

The communicative method of those who are immoderate tends to be abusive, always criticizing, sermonizing or even berating others well past the point of legitimate communication and disregarding the moral obligation of respect.

Betraying a noble tradition

The Mujtahideen (experts in Islamic Law) differed and disagreed yet maintained a high regard for one another Imam Abu Hanifah said, "If it were not for the two years that I accompanied Imam Ja'far as-Sadiq, I would have perished." These exemplary scholars were neither self-righteous nor dogmatic. When the Abbasid Caliph al-Mansur expressed his intention of attaching Imam Malik's Al-Muwatta to the Ka'bah and obliging people to follow it, Imam Malik himself opposed the idea saying people in different parts of the Muslim world may have received differing information. He urged the Ca1iph al-Mansur to leave people to follow in accordance with the knowledge they had received and not to narrow down nor to limit that which Allah and His Messenger have left without bounds. The great jurist Imam Shafi'i is reported to have said: "I never argue with anyone without praying that Allah may put the truth on the tongue of that person." He also said: "My opinion is correct but the possibility of error exists." The differing opinions of great scholars and those well-versed help to illuminate the multi-dimensions of an issue and varying interpretations bring about a degree of flexibility that the law requires to meet the needs demanded by the vicissitudes of ever-changing times.

Causes of Intolerance

Problems usually arise due to the fact that ...

  1. People overstate their differences.
  2. Do not fully understand.
    " Man is always inclined to be intolerant towards the thing or person he hasn't taken the time adequately to understand." [Robert R. Brown]
  3. They attribute to themselves a degree of infallibility and consider their opinion to be the ultimate view, almost as if God's revelation is merely a substantiation of their perspective.
    "Bigotry tries to keep truth safe in its hand; with a grip that kills it."[Writer, Rabindranath Tagore]
  4. Vested interests cause people to undermine others (particularly those who are more successful than themselves or to deflect criticism of their own shortcomings).
  5. When groups become excessively partisan to one opinion over another.
    "The responsibility of tolerance lies with those who have a wider vision." [Author, George Eliot]

Agree to Disagree Agreeably

While it is most appropriate to advocate and defend one's own views with passion, it is illogical and unethical to reflexively treat those who have differing views as enemies. Worse still is to hold those who disagree with us in contempt or to suspect them of disbelief thereby intensifying our hostility towards them, legitimizing our demonizing them and making them targets of our vengeance. It is as demeaning as it is unfair to be insulted by people of one's own faith who jump to erroneous conclusions about one's views. It is even more disgusting when they unleash irrational anger and outright viciousness with an air of moral supremacy.
This kind of moral arrogance ravages our relationships with distrust and hatred, eventually coarsening our communities by replacing civil discourse and common courtesy with name-calling and hatred. In many Muslim communities there is often the tendency to ...

... sadly, all this in the name of "Islam".

Differing should not be equated with opposing

As human beings; and more particularly as people of faith, we need to realize that differing does not necessarily imply opposing; that within the broad spectrum of shared knowledge and difference of opinion there is also the uniting factor of mutual respect and the greater interest of the community.
"The best thing to give to your enemy is forgiveness; to an opponent tolerance; to a friend your heart; to your child a good example; to a father esteem; to your mother conduct that will make her proud of you; to yourself respect; and to all people generosity.[Frances Balfour]
"Until you have learned to be tolerant with those who do not always agree with you; until you have cultivated the habit of saying some kind word of those whom you do not admire; until you have formed the habit of looking for the good instead of the bad there is in others, you will be neither successful nor happy." [Napoleon Hill]

Let us make a resolution to be ...
genuinely more loving, more respectful, more accommodating of each other; and less confrontational, less demeaning and less hurtful.

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