10: Expressing Gratitude & Being Thankful
"Whosoever is not thankful to people is not thankful to Allah." (Prophet Muhammad (pbuh))
Spirituality and Thankfulness
Allah says: "Remember Me, I remember you; Be thankful and not ungrateful." (Qur'an 2: 152).
There is an emphasis on God-consciousness and on gratitude in this Divine injunction.
- Gratefulness is a matter of the heart and truly grateful people are more spiritually aware and are more likely to appreciate the interconnectedness of personal life to human interdependence.
- True thankfulness to God means that we sincerely thank Him for his innumerable blessings; not by reminding others of what we have done in His Name.
- Gratitude is indeed the spiritual activity of the sanctified heart of a humble person.
A Thankful Heart
- The educationist, Massieu said, "Gratitude is the memory of the heart."
- Among the well-known prayers of the Prophet was "O Allah! I ask thee… for a grateful heart."
- Seneca said: "Nothing is more honorable than a grateful heart."
- Or as Aesop said: "Gratitude is the sign of a noble soul."
- " Gordon Hinckley, the renowned Mormon leader, said: "Where there is appreciation, there is courtesy; where there is gratitude, there is humility."
- Hannah Moore said: "There are three requisites to the proper enjoyment of earthly blessings; a thankful reflection of the goodness of the giver; a deep sense of our unworthiness; and a recollection of the uncertainty of how long we will possess the. The first will make us grateful; the second will make us humble and the third will make us moderate."
- William Shakespeare prayed: "O Lord Who lends me life, lend me a heart replete with thankfulness."
Why is there a prevalence of Ingratitude
- Psychologist Robert Emmons of UC Davis says that the probable reason why people seem less thankful nowadays is due to the modern emphasis on self-reliance. Society conditions us to be self-made and independent. In that context, we don't want to think about our indebtedness to others."
- "Pride slays thanksgiving, but a humble heart is the soil out of which thanks naturally grow. A proud man is seldom grateful, for he never thinks he gets as much as he deserves," said Henry Ward Beecher.
- Negative expressions of appreciation (taught often to kids)
a. Blame - "You ought to be thankful to me"
b. Worthlessness - "You have/are nothing"
c. Guilt - "You are lucky, others don't have"
Check your Blessings
- "Wise is the person who grieves not for what he does not have but gratefully rejoices in what he does have", said the Graeco-Roman philosopher, Epictetus.
- The English writer, Charles Dickens said: " Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every person has plenty; reflect not upon your past misfortunes, of which all people have some."
- Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said: "Whosoever is not thankful with a little will not be thankful with a lot."
- The Caliph 'Ali said: "Do not let your thanklessness drive away even the least of your blessings."
- Successful talk show host, Oprah Winfrey said: " Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate only on what you don't have, you'll never ever have enough."
Reflect on these wise words ...
"If we could only learn to appreciate the little things…
A song that pleases you, for there those who can not hear
The beauty of sunset, for there are those who can not see
A stroll along the beach, for there are those who can not walk
The warmth and safety of your home, for there are those who are homeless
The company of friends and dear ones, for there are those who are lonely
These are little things that life is all about.
So search your soul and learn to appreciate."
(Shadi Souferian)
Allah says: "If you are grateful, Allah shall increase for you." (Qur'an 14:7) Remember, how we use our blessings is an indication of our level of gratitude.
Be Thankful, Be Happier
Thankfulness is an important positive emotion that relates directly to our mental and spiritual well-being. Let our hearts awaken to the transforming power of thankfulness. Professor Barbara Fredrickson of the University of Michigan concludes from her research that cultivating gratitude may actually undo the effects of negative emotions such as anger and anxiety.
Dr R. Emmons of UC-Davis found that feelings of thankfulness have a tremendous value in a person's achieving a positive sense of the self, while Dr Adam Smith's Theory of Moral Sentiments suggests that those who feel gratitude are happier people.
Turning negative to positive
Consider these words of wisdom ...
- Be thankful that you don't already have everything you desire,
If you did, what would there be to look forward to? - Be thankful that you don't know everything
For it gives you the opportunity to learn. - Be thankful for your limitations
Because they give you opportunities for improvement. - Be thankful when you're tired and weary
Because it means you've tried to make a difference. - Be thankful for each new challenge
Because it will build your strength and character.
GRATITUDE can turn a negative into a positive. Find a way to be thankful for your "troubles" and they can become your blessings.
Manifesting Gratitude
- "As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not (merely) to utter words, but to live by them," said J.F.Kennedy.
- "Thankfulness is the beginning of gratitude; gratitude is the completion of thankfulness. Thankfulness may consist merely of words; gratitude is shown in acts." said David Mackay
- "Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a gift and not giving it," said William Arthur Ward).
Selfless Goodwill
- Prophet Jesus/'Isa (pbuh) said, "Blessed are those that can give without remembering and receive without forgetting."
- It has been the habit of Prophets to help others without demanding reward or expecting thanks (Qur'an 76:9)
- "It is another's fault if he be ungrateful, but it is mine if I do not give", said the ancient Roman writer, Seneca.
Grateful People are among the Best of People
Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) was asked, "Who are the best of people ?"
He replied: "Those who are cheerful when they do good, who are repentant when they do wrong, who are grateful when they receive, who show patience when in difficulty and pardon when they are angered."
Be of those who give and forgive;
Be not of those who get and forget.