105: Essential Elements for Self-Discipline
Adab Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) stated ما ورث والد والدا خير من ادب حسن no parent gives their children anything better than good ‘adab’. This indicates the significance of adab as an essential element in human development. Adab implies … discipline of the mind, refinement of manners; good education and good training; politeness in behavior; appropriate mode of conduct … Self-Discipline ~ Adab in action In practical terms adab translates to heightened level of self-discipline. Self-discipline is …
- control or correction of one's self for the sake of improvement
- the ability to strive in order to develop one's talents, utilize one’s skills and reach distant goals.
- related to … goal-setting, determination, persistence, self-evaluation, self-management, self-control, self-restraint, and self-respect
A Characteristic of Successful People Self discipline is essential to all because it is a vital characteristic of successful people. The abilities of an individual to self-manage his or her actions are proportional to the level of success and happiness they could experience in their lifetime. Self-discipline is not about punishment or even about a restrictive lifestyle, but rather the ability of the individual to adhere to actions, thoughts, and behaviors that result in personal improvement instead of instant gratification. A lack of self-discipline is the main reason for the failures we experience in both our personal and professional lives. Self-discipline matters because it …
- affects your confidence - being in control of yourself, your emotions and actions boosts your confidence and esteem.
- determines how you see yourself - your self image is so much better when you know you can succeed and change
- allows you to stay focused on your goals - enhances your ability to see a project through
- enables you to stay in control … of yourself and of your reactions to any situation and you can change your life anyway you want to
Steps to Self-Discipline Whoever acknowledges that he/she has shortcomings has started on the path of self-discipline. There are many people who are anxious to improve their circumstances, but are unwilling to improve themselves; they therefore remain bound. [ 19th century English author, James Allen] The desire to start with improving the self is the essence of empowerment.
- Sayyidna ‘Ali said that فليبدأ بتعليم نفسه قبل تعليم غيره whosoever wishes to have a positive impact on the world should begin with disciplining the self before attempting to discipline the world
- “Mastering others is strength. Mastering yourself is true power.” [Ancient Chinese philosopher, Lao Tzu]
- The first and best victory is to conquer self. [Plato, Ancient Greek Philosopher]
- The foolish want to conquer the world, the wise want to control the self. [Sufi saying]
- Recognize the ‘Self’ as Potential Problem
Before we can develop the power of self-discipline, we must first take an honest and direct look at the excuses we use to justify our problems and poor daily performance. “Almost all our faults are more pardonable than the methods we think up to hide them.” [Classical writer Francois La Rochefoucauld]. Challenge your excuses. Sit down and objectively think about the problems that exist in your life, and the excuses you use to justify them. Once we begin to consciously recognize the excuses we use to justify the circumstances in our lives, we can focus our efforts towards fixing the real problem. Keep in mind that as human beings we will always make mistakes and blunders, but it is through the power of self-discipline that we are able to diminish their impact on our lives.
- Self-Control = The act of controlling our emotions, actions, words, and ultimately the direction our personal life. When responding to a question pertaining to the powerful emotion of anger, Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) emphasized the power and virtue of self-control when he responded:
ليس الشديد بالصرعه ، انما الشديد الذي يملك نفسه عند الغضب
Rather than wrestling someone to the ground, stronger is the one who can control the self when angry. Lao Tsu, the ancient Chinese philosopher said, “He who conquers others is strong: he who conquers himself is mighty.”
The ability to control our emotions, actions, words, and thoughts has always been among the most difficult tasks. It seems far more difficult to exert self-control over our lives today, and we have made even the most outrageous over-indulgence accessible by the simple push of a button. We have created so many conveniences, trends, wants, and evolved such erratic behaviors solicited through advertising and mass media, that we are brainwashed to crave things which are not necessarily good.
When we begin to discriminate between what is truly needed and what is actually unnecessary, we develop a powerful sense of personal management. “I count him braver who overcomes his desires than him who conquers his enemies; for the hardest victory is over self.” [Greek Philosopher, Aristotle]
The first step to gaining self-control is one of identifying the areas in our lives that need more control. We have to take a close look at …
- our habits
- the character traits we possess
- the opinions we hold and the attitudes we display
- how we allot our time
- our diet, exercise and care for our general health
- our relationships
- Motivation = The “fire inside” that fuels our efforts and makes accomplishments worth achieving. Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) advised us to بادروا بالأعمال الصالحة rush in doing what is beneficial and to do things, the benefit of which would outlive us. “Rest not! Life is sweeping by; go and do before you die. Something mighty and sublime, leave behind to conquer time.” [18th century philosopher, Johann Goethe] Motivation is responsible for creating actions, thoughts, and situations that are directed toward a specific accomplishment. True motivation is the result of a strong personal desire that focuses a person’s thoughts, words, and actions in such a way so as to elicit hundred percent effort. {Reflect on Prophet Muhammad’s earliest motivation, for example when inviting his relatives to Islam and when discussing his commitment to his mission when speaking to his dear uncle Abu Talib.} There is no use in trying to master self-discipline if you lack the motivation to have it. Motivation A to Z Avoid bad habits and negative people. Believe in yourself. Consider things from every angle. Don’t give up what is good and don’t give in when you are right, yet be neither selfish nor stubborn. Enjoy today to the full, yesterday is gone and tomorrow may never come. Family, friends and loved ones are treasures, so value them. Give with your heart. Hang on to your dreams. Ignore those who try to discourage you. Just do whatever is best. Keep trying your best. Learn to love and love to learn. Make things happen and do not be a spectator of your own life. Never be a troublemaker, a fault-finder, an envier, a liar or a coward. Open your eyes and see things as they really are. Open your mind and think better. Open your heart and feel more. Practice, practice, practice for practice makes Perfect. Quitters never win and winners never quit. Read, study, and learn about everything important in your life. Respect yourself, respect others and be responsible. Stop procrastinating! Take control of your own destiny. Understand yourself in order to better understand others. Visualize your dream. Wish for others what you wish for you self. eXcellerate towards success by enhancing your skills. You are the only you that there is, so be the best ‘you’ that you can be. Zero in on your target, stay focused, keep the course and go for it.
- Persistence = The ability to continue through adversity. The ability to brush off failure and stay focused on goals. “Endurance is one of the most difficult disciplines, but it is to the one who endures that the final victory comes.” [Buddha (568 – 488 BC)] Self-discipline does not come without experiencing setbacks and disappointments, and the only way to defeat failure is through persistence and perseverance.
Among the major concerns of contemporary ethicists has been the decrease in inclination to patient perseverance in our time. In an instantaneous world, a world of microwave dinners, instant coffee, live global television and worldwide Internet; we have become accustomed to immediacy and quick results. We have come to regard waiting as accidental in life rather than occupying a place at the core and center of human life. In the world of "want", the operative word becomes "now" and we, unwisely, do not believe that there should really be any waiting at all. In such a world, patient perseverance is not considered as priority. All of the world’s past and present extra-ordinary humans have found success and happiness with a never-say-die attitude.
Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) lost his father before birth, was orphaned at age six; was a shepherd in his youth, was rejected by his people when he conveyed the message, was ostracized for his message by his own relatives who were in positions of power and was boycotted with his followers despite his detractors knowing him as As-Saadiq/the truthful and Al-Ameen/the trustworthy. His family and companions were persecuted and some found refuge in Africa, he had to migrate from Makkah to Madinah, suffered assassination attempts on his life, his followers were killed and his uncle's body was mutilated, he went days without eating, all his children (except Fatimah) died in his lifetime, faced the collective challenge of much of Arabia in numerous battles. He persisted and eventually returned to Makkah and forgave his enemies. That is positive persistence at its best.
Persistence, endurance, patient-perseverance … are acts of continued action and effort towards worthy objectives, even in the face of multiple challenges, and that is why the Qur’an emphasizes the necessity for patient perseverance and the Prophet (pbuh) said that patience is half of faithالصبرنصف الايمان
We are commanded in the Qur’an to والتنظر نفس ما قدمت لغد carefully consider what we are sending forth/doing for our future. So, make the commitment to gain total control of your life today, and you will thank yourself tomorrow. Know that it is possible to rise above average human performance, by dedicating time each day to achieve the status of a disciplined human being.