102: Learning from Mistakes ~ Part 2
- Ihsaan ~ Knowing the potential of the human being [Qur’an 95:5] , the Creator commands us to strive for excellence [Qur’an 16:90] . Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) reminded us that, كتب الاحسان على كل شيء ان الله Allah has prescribed excellence in everything you do. The notion of ihsaan implies both; doing what is good, coupled with excellence in performance; both content and manner. This makes us realize that whatever is good is worth doing and whatever is worth doing, is worth doing well. The Prophet advised; ان الله يحب اذا عَِمل احدَكم عملا ان يُتقِنه Surely, Allah loves that whatever activity you do, do it with excellence.
- Khata’ ~ We are also well aware that خلق الانسان ضعيفا human beings have inherent shortcomings [Qur’an 4:28] ; that كل ابنى آدم خطاء all human beings err. Setting high standards therefore is a great thing. However, expecting to be free from mistakes/errors leads to a punishing attitude towards one's own efforts, it can cripple the imagination, kill the spirit, and handicap one’s performance; leading to low self-esteem and failure.
Strive Not for Perfection, but for Excellence Sometimes we wrongfully learn early in life that other people value you because of how much you accomplish or achieve; or others pressurize you beyond your scope. As a result you may have learned to value yourself only on the basis of other people's approval. This can leave you vulnerable and excessively sensitive to the opinions and criticism of others. In attempting to protect yourself from such criticism, you may decide that attempting to be perfect is your only defense. To escape criticism - do nothing, say nothing, be nothing. [Elbert Hubbard] Excellence is the reward of labor, of toil, of striving for betterment. The real contest in striving for excellence is not against others but rather between what you have done and what you are capable of doing. The quest for excellence is not a quest for perfection, for only Allah is perfect. Overcoming the Debilitating Fear of Failure Most people limit themselves and thus do not achieve a fraction of what they are capable of achieving because …
- they are afraid to try
- they are afraid they will fail.
- Act decisively after due consideration ~ Fear of failure can immobilize you. Acting appropriately gives you the power to change the circumstances or the situation. Remember the NASA motto; Do it, Do it Right, Do it Right Now.
- Persist ~ Successful people just don’t give up, because winners never quit and quitters never win. Confucius said that our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.
- Don’t take failure personally ~ Successful people look at mistakes, as outcomes or results, not as failure. Unsuccessful people look at mistakes as permanent and personal failures. Failure is about behavior, outcomes, and results. Failure is not a personality characteristic. “One good deed does not make a person forever a saint just as one slip does not make a person forever a failure”. [Sufi Saying] Just because you have made a mistake, doesn’t mean that you are a failure. “When you make a mistake or get ridiculed or rejected, look at the mistakes as learning experiences, not as a turn down of the performer”. [motivational writer, Denis Waitley]
- Improve ~ if you’re not getting the results you want, then you must do something different. If what you are doing isn’t working, do something else; There is an old African saying; if you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you always got.
- Failing is not a dead end ~ You are on the road to success if you realize that failure or setbacks are only detours, not the end of the road. So, be ready for changes. A bend in the road is not the end of the road… unless you fail to make the turn. “Failing does not mean that you are a failure; it just means that you have not succeeded yet.” [minister, Robert Schuller]
Negative to Positive The prophetic tradition لا يلدغ المؤمن من جحر واحد مرتين a Believer is never bit/hurt from the same hole/place twice, intimates that Believers ought not to make the same mistake twice, and need to learn from their experiences. To turn negative life experiences into positive learning experiences depends not so much on what has happened to you, but rather on what you do with what has happened. Maximize Your Potential The quest for excellence is actually a willingness and determination to maximize the potential which Allah has granted to you. The Prophet (pbuh) said; من استوى يوماه فهو مغبون if any person’s two days are the same, then that person has lost out. You can’t change the past, but you can influence the future. Let each your days be better than the day before and let every endeavor leave a trademark of your excellence. And know that Allah states in the Qur’an …